Rejected Personal Testimonials

To whoever is reading this:
You are probably blinded by the pure awesomeness of my attached picture, and as a result are unable to read any further…

Probably slightly egoistical…

My achievements include being part of a Gold with Honors winning drama team, and discovering the meaning of life while sitting on the can…

Don’t think they’ll buy it….

I have done many things in life, including your mom…

Doubt they will appreciate hostility…

I am better than you.

Again with the ego…

You are a fuck.

I just need some sort of angle…..